Salmon Fishing

(Picture is Saddam's Bedroom at the Convention Center)


I’ve probably gotten more questions from folks back home about the initial looting that took place in Iraq. Why did it happen? Why didn’t we stop it? Well, it happened as a result of 25 years of pent-up emotion and deprivation while Saddam was building beautiful palaces all over the country (he wound up with 22). Why didn’t we stop it? Have you ever seen a nature documentary on Alaska? Invariably, they’ll show footage of huge Alaskan Brown bears standing in a stream during the salmon run, fishing. At the side of the stream are people with their fishing poles. Both are fishing and neither messes with the other because there are plenty of fish. Besides, we saw this as a huge “wealth redistribution” campaign being conducted by the Iraqi people against the regime that had oppressed them for so long. Also, Baghdad is a city of five million people. What were elements of two US Army divisions (approx. 12,000 men) going to do to stop it?



When we first arrived in the neighborhood that I was to live in for the next year, we had to clear all the buildings. So we went in to each house guns at the ready to ensure that no one hiding in them. During the course of this, we would take note of furnishings, drapes, appliances, etc. that were in each house. In one instance, we burst through the front door of a really nice bungalow. We swept through the house. The kitchen was toward the back. We heard a door slam. On a counter in the kitchen were open jars of peanut butter and jelly with a plate out on the counter and jelly spread on one piece of bread. Not enough time to make the sandwich I guess with four Americans soldiers sweeping through your house and you’re face is on the deck of cards! When we had finished for the day, I distinctly remember walking out in the middle of the street in front of what would be my residence. A narrow residential street, tree-lined with branches touching overhead. Very nice. Then, I noticed down the street two guys carrying a sofa. They were 3rd Infantry. Full battle rattle, helmets, M-16’s, the works. Carrying a sofa out of one mansion and into another. Then, two more guys crossing the other way with a table. And so on for an hour or so. Every one was setting up house and furnishing to their taste! In a neighborhood full of mansions. So we had to get a move on unless we wanted to live in a dump! So off we went looking for good furnishings. At one point, I was stopped by a 3rd Infantry soldier, “Hey Sarge, I’m looking for a sofa to match my drapes” “What color are your drapes?” “Sort of a royal blue” “Third house down on your right, second floor”. I’ve already mentioned a lot of our furnishings. We added a washer and dryer and outfitted our huge kitchen with a ton of food: a 50-lb bag of loose tea, ditto a bag of dates, rice. My battle buddy Kenny found a motorcycle (he owns a Harley) and spent the rest of his time there finding parts and getting it into working order. We found more than one Mercedes with bullet-proof glass. Some were Saddam’s and some belonged to his henchmen. We HAD to see if they were really bulletproof. So we sacrificed one for our little experiment. We shot it to pieces and sure enough, that glass could take one heck of beating. Later on in the tour, one Mercedes was available for the personal use of our Director Colonel Edwards. Someone had a bumper sticker that said, “I love crack Ho’s”. So we put that on his back bumper. He loved it! We found the private dry cleaners that Saddam used and I have one of his suits, which fit me very nicely. I also have an Iraqi Army general’s epaulet to a dress uniform. A friend of mine found a huge stack of posters of Saddam in various poses. I mailed 35 of them home. In fact, I had so much swag that I knew that I had to figure out a way to get it all home before the Army came up with “rules” governing what you’re allowed to keep.

It was hot. The most important item on everyone’s list was a functioning window air conditioner. I was driving past the ruins of what once was the Mukhabarat, Iraq’s CIA. In the Hummer with me was Captain Beyers and Kenny. Captain Beyers was one of my roommates at first and although he enjoyed the creature comforts we were providing, went on record as an officer that he really didn’t feel too good about this scrounging – even though there was no official policy on it yet. The guard shack at the entrance of the building was intact and protruding from the back was, yes, a brand new Korean made air conditioner. Captain Beyers had just finished his latest diatribe on looting when I noticed it. I stopped the Hummer and Kenny and I got out and began to inspect it and figure out how to get it home. We had everything disconnected inside the guard shack and only needed someone outside the shack to push the air conditioner in toward us and we would grab it and lower it to the ground. I mumbled to Kenny, “great, we need a third set of hands and who do we have with us? Mr. Self-righteous.” No sooner had I said that than the air conditioner started to move in toward us! Without us asking, Beyers got out of the Hummer and on his own began to push the air conditioner into us.

The great thing about being in an invasion force is that the rules always take awhile to catch up with you. There was no official memo on what we could take home with us until some time in October 2003. In September, I went on leave and met my wife in Germany. I took a flight bag stuffed with swag. The Air Force didn’t care and didn’t look in the bags because there was no written policy at the time. Once in Germany, I took a train to my brother's house. He was in the Army and stationed at an American military base in Hohenfels. American bases overseas are like a little slice of Americana, right down to the Post Office. So from his house I packed up all my stuff in cardboard boxes and mailed it home. I warned my friends that they had better do the same before it was too late, but no one listened. Lots of good war memorabilia had to be left behind. But I got all of mine out – Iraqi Army uniforms, berets, field jackets, helmets, gas masks, AK-47 magazines, mess kits, bayonets, letterhead, and business cards from Tariq Aziz’ (Saddam’s Prime Minister) desk.