SUV's

Sport Utility Vehicles. They were unknown in Iraq until the Americans came. We brought huge, honking GMC SUV’s with us by the boatload – literally. They had all the refinements, a/c, CD players, etc. The one disadvantage was the large imaginary bull’s eye on the side that said, “I’m an American, shoot me.” We soldiers all had Hummers and the only way we could cool off was to drive really fast. So, how to get one of these babies?

What’s an SUV worth? Staff Sergeant Keith Jacobs worked for me primarily as our supply sergeant. Keith could get anything. He was placed in charge of the distribution of MCI cell phones by the Coalition Provisional Authority when we got there. MCI set up a cell tower in the Green Zone and gave Keith 600 cell phones to distribute to NGO’s and others as Colonel Edwards saw fit. These phones had free international calling to anywhere in the world. Colonel Edwards immediately dubbed them as “morale and welfare” devices and everyone in the IAC got one. So the lowliest private in the IAC was calling home every night while colonels elsewhere had to wait on line at an internet café to email home. Keith issued cell phones to the NGO’s. Keith was God. He went to the SUV vehicle dispatcher at CPA located at the Republican Palace and made a deal. An SUV is worth an MCI cell phone with free international calling. So we had an SUV, complete with proper dispatch and authority to use CPA gas pumps and maintenance facilities. SUV number one.

Lieutenant Colonel Curda lived in our house. He was a friend of Colonel Edwards and the colonel let him live in our house. He worked as an advisor to the Ministry of Education. In that capacity, he had an SUV. Curda didn’t know the streets of Baghdad too well. He had meetings at the UN headquarters but didn’t know how to get there. I did. So he called upon me frequently to take him around town. I did this for several months until finally his tour of duty ended. Instead of turning in his SUV, he gave it to me. I went to the dispatcher and asked him how he was enjoying his cell phone. He said he loved it and gave me a proper dispatch, authority to use CPA gas pumps and maintenance facilities. SUV number two.

The advantages to having SUV’s (outside the obvious creature comforts) was that you could get to the airport in 10-15 minutes. They could go up to 110 mph in air conditioned comfort. Also, you could carry more people in them. And despite the fact they announced you were an American, there was still some lag time in recognition as opposed to a Hummer coming down the street.

So the IAC had a fleet of six hummers and two SUV’s for 14 people. We couldn’t man all of our vehicles. I felt really bad for guys who only had hummers and had to cram into seats whenever one went down for repairs. NOT.